Sunday, November 21, 2010

Anniversary


Today is our 40th wedding anniversary. Hard to believe it has been that long and yet when I look back at all we have shared and done together I can count up 40 years of many good things and experiences for sure.

I looked at the photos taken at our wedding and considered scanning one of them, but I have done that before. I decided, instead to use this faded snapshot, taken at my parents house after the wedding. We were hamming it up trying to look like an old-timey couple on their wedding day. Now we are an old timey couple and don't even have to try. I look at this picture, though, and remember that after the nervous-making formal part of the ceremony was over, we had a lot of fun celebrating with our families and friends. I think it is important to have fun at your own wedding. I go to some weddings these days and wonder if the couple is so stressed by all the many details and fanciness of the occasion that they are missing out on the fun the rest of us are having. Weddings have changed in 40 years. Ours was at the Methodist Church we went to and was followed by a reception in the church's Fireside Room. Cake, mints, nuts, punch and coffee were served. The cake was ordered from the super market and the Methodist ladies made and served the coffee and punch. We had little napkins printed with our names and the date. There was a guest book the guests signed. My sorority sisters encircled Ray and me and sang to us.

I made my dress and I had a Maid of Honor—my sister Becky and a Matron of Honor—my best friend, Kathleen, who also loaned me her veil. (Imagine—two of us wore the goofy thing!) They wore cranberry red dresses made from the same pattern as my dress. Most wedding gowns, back then, had long sleeves in winter and cap sleeves in the summer. No one wore strapless wedding gowns.

After we all cleared out of the church, the families and closest friends gathered at my parents' house for one of my Mom's incredible buffet dinners and bottles and bottles of my Dad's fabulous homemade wine. The house was crammed full of people we loved and who loved us. Ray and I sat in the family room and opened gifts amid hoots and applause and lots of laughing—"oh wonderful! Another fondue pot!—just what you needed!" We finally got ourselves together and drove off to our budget honeymoon in Salt Lake City, leaving our guests standing out in the street whistling and whooping and waving their wineglasses in the air. Honestly, we hated to miss the rest of the party.

Forty years later we remember that great day and how loved we felt. I know that the people who were with us that day are still with us—many in spirit only—and it has been an important part of our lives together. Friends. Family. That is really all there is of any great importance. Ray is my best friend and my family and has been those two things from the beginning. Happy Anniversary to us!

27 comments:

  1. I agree with you, weddings have gotten way out of hand. All that money is a total waste. I miss the "reception at the church" weddings.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love your wedding recollection. I like how much fun you had...and are still having.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! Happy Anniversary to you and Ray! It's obvious that you two enjoy each other's company -- now and back then. My husband's and my wedding was a little fancier than yours, but not by much. We too thought that celebrating in teh company of family and friends was more important than any details a la mode.

    ReplyDelete
  4. where is the like button! happy anniversary!

    ReplyDelete
  5. That is how weddings used to be. The money spent now borders on obscene and I don't see that it encourages 40 years or more together!

    I loved hearing the details of your day. What great memories and the photos is priceless.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Blessings on you both on your anniversary. Thanks for sharing your memories of your special day.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Thanks for sharing your wonderful memories- and happy anniversary to both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I just loved reading this post - it sounds like a sweet wedding! My husband and I had a bit of a shotgun wedding, but after 10 years of dating, no one could say it was unexpected, haha. It took less than a week to plan, cost less than $500 including the rings, and I asked my soon-to-be sister-in-law to be my bridesmaid 10 min before the ceremony, which took place in the church parlor. Fancy doesn't necessarily mean more memorable!

    ReplyDelete
  9. What a wonderful post. It makes me smile!!!

    Happy Anniversary!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Happy Anniversary Terry! Wow 40 years! Great post - I'm still smiling!

    Hugz

    ReplyDelete
  11. Congratulations to you and Ray! I love the story of your wedding. I used a pattern similar to that for a Prom dress. I agree with you about weddings. The memories are the moments shared with those you love.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Happy Anniversary. We had a similar wedding although no meal, only cake and mints and nuts ;-) Paying for our own wedding put some limits, but it was still the loveliest day of our lives.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Terry, thanks for posting this. I loved your humorous photo, and seeing the dress that you made ... beautiful! How I wish that today's weddings would reflect the community and personal commitment that yours did. (It reminded me very much of my own wedding 44 years ago, right down to the Methodist church/reception!) Congratulations, and blessings upon you both.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Applause -- for the post, and for the accomplishment!

    ReplyDelete
  15. This photo made me smile! Although you may have posed in a 1900 style, the picture is so 1970! The position of your husband, his glance, the fashion and hairstyle reminds me of my younger years -- I was 21 then, might as well have got married. Very interesting posting!

    ReplyDelete
  16. both of you are looking so nice and intimate to each other. thanks for your post man...

    ReplyDelete
  17. That is one of the most wonderful posts about a wedding I have ever read. It truly is about the MARRIAGE, not about the party, when we decide to get hitched, isn't it? I hope you share your memories with Ray and let him know that through all of those years, the love and fun of it all is still there. Happy anniversary!
    V

    ReplyDelete
  18. How wonderful that you did it right the first time!
    Wishing you another 40 together.

    ReplyDelete
  19. After watching a 'Bridzilla' marathon last night (the remote was across the room and I was knitting- couldn't get up!), how refreshing to read about your wedding! Yes, those were the most meaningful kind I've ever attended. And many times I helped clean up a church hall after the ceremony- wearing one of a long series of yellow bridesmaid dresses. Yeah, I had six in the closet at one point, all yellow. With sincere wishes for many more happy years together! And fondue for EVERYbody at Terry's house!

    ReplyDelete
  20. You are so right about weddings being fun. Yours certainly was that as was Kathleen's as I remember. It was wonderful then and even more wonderful now to know how happy the two of you are.

    Love you both.

    ReplyDelete
  21. I love that photo! Many congratulations to you, Terry! My husband and I had a fabulous time at our wedding, partly because we were married outside, under the trees, behind a beautiful old inn, and walked straight down the aisle after the ceremony to the open bar. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's good to see you guys still having fun. We had GREAT weddings. Gary and I stupidly left the party at my parents' house, thinking we were supposed to. I think you learned from us to NOT DO THAT.

    Do I remember Becky sitting on the hood of your car just before you drove away?

    ReplyDelete
  23. What a great photo - and I actually love your veil. LOL! Happy happy happy anniversary! :)

    ReplyDelete
  24. Happy Anniversary! Loved reading about your wedding. They were a lot of fun back then weren't they? I was married at my parent's home surrounded by relatives we loved. My sister was my Maid of Honor and she wore the same dress she wore as bridesmade at my brother's wedding many years before. My mother also wore the dress she wore to my brother's wedding (I think I was 8 yrs. old then). My brother's daughter wore the dress I had worn to his wedding. It all sounds so confusing but wonderful memories and such fun! Congrats!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Wow, what a wonderful post - many congratulations! One of my favorite parts of our reception was how much everyone danced. OK, I did strongly encourage them all, but it made for a great party and sure was fun.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Happy 40th! We just hit 30 this year, ourselves. One of these days I'm going to have to blog about how UNenjoyable our wedding was. You hit it on the head.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Rather late chiming in here, but what a sweet memoir--and legacy for your children.

    ReplyDelete