Thursday, September 05, 2013

Fix Something

This has been a crummy week. I have this awful cold. It's a cold. It isn't permanent or life-threatening. It is just crummy. You know how that is. It is one of those particularly gross colds that makes my voice all raspy and underwater-y and my head hurt and it is grossly liquid, with uncontrollable attacks of snot and watering eyes and...well, you know. And so this hugely inconvenient, but not life-threatening cold is just making everything else seem worse. I have people I love who are dealing with stuff way worse than my cold and it is really getting me down. My favorite group is having a scheduling conflict that just seems insurmountable (it's not), my house is a mess and I have no energy for cleaning, I am trying to get work done for upcoming shows and the studio is a disaster area, I am unable to figure out a technical issue for an upcoming presentation, and, and, and.... 

I know everyone has weeks like this and much worse. I like to think I have developed the small measure of wisdom over the years to recognize that everything seems worse when you are sick. And I think I have finally figured out that it all comes down to control. How can I do all the things I need to do and provide the support my loved ones need and keep a positive attitude if I can't even control my own mucous membranes? A woman who coughs until she pees herself has definitely lost control of things. That's it, isn't it?

And so I stand back and watch myself with a combination of amusement and pity, as I exercise what control I can muster. I do this to convince myself that I still have some power. I get a haircut. See—that helped, didn't it? I dig out the repair kit I bought online more than a year ago and finally repair the split and peeling upholstery in my car. Looks so much better! I make a followup Dr. appointment that is months overdue. I update the calendar on my phone with all my upcoming meetings and appointments. I get a prescription refilled.  Now I feel a little more in control. But I need a nap—and a shower. Control is an illusion, I know, but while I can't fix the big things, it really does help to fix a few of the small things.


8 comments:

  1. Sorry you are feeling under the weather. You do need to take care of yourself before you can take care of others and attend those other things that need to get done.

    I recently got over a sinus infection that I had for several weeks. I was cranky and tired. I did what I could to get stuff done. But I realized that I need to cut myself some slack and give my body a chance to recover (hard as that may be).

    I hope you feel better soon.

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  2. Hope you feel better soon!

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  3. I totally agree...now go to bed.

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  4. that's the part of being sick I hate the most--peeing myself. It happens when I sneeze. I often say the AA thing when times are tough. I don't remember it exactly right now, but take care of the things I can do, and let go of the things I can't control. And know which is which.

    Go to the couch, turn on a movie and fall asleep.

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  5. I hope you feel MUCH better soon! Now go and rest.

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  6. Two words, Ginger Tea! Cures all. Feel better soon!

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  7. Have some tea, get some sleep, and remember that no one died because the house was messy. We'd all be long gone at my house if that was the case.

    A day or so really taking care of yourself will get you to a better mindset.

    Oh, I find that putting some lemon and brandy in the ginger tea does wonders. :) Really helps the cough and get you to sleep.

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  8. I am so sorry for your troubles. However, I'm very impressed with your change of attitude and how you are turning a sow's ear into a 'cotton' purse. (smile)

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