Remember a couple weeks ago I showed you a picture of a
trunk sitting on the sidewalk in Oakland, Oregon? And I said I had one just like it at home? Well, here it is.
I bought this old trunk in
Idaho City, Idaho about 40 years ago (holy sh*t!—40?) and I wrestled it into the trunk of my car and toted it back to Boise where my first apartment was. We've been dragging this old thing around ever since. Over the years it became the place I stored stuff that I wanted to keep, but didn't really need. I now have no place for it and it is up for sale at the BIG yard sale this weekend. (Don't tell me I
can't sell it—it's too wonderful or nostalgic or something. I'm over it. It needs someone new to love it.) But first I needed to empty out all the stuff inside. Like about 10 really old Girl Scout uniforms, including sashes and badges and beanies and the whole 9 yards. (don't ask) And scrapbooks. Oh. My. Goodness. Not the new-fangled fancy, schmancy scrapbooks with cunning stickers and die-cut cuteness. These are the old manilla pages with black and white photos and sticky corners and crumbling telegrams and train tickets and pressed leaves and graduation announcements. That kind. And dolls. Most everything smelled a little musty, but looked OK, until I got to the dolls.
My looks-like-a-Madame-Alexander-but-isn't doll emerged from the trunk covered in a white, powdery mold. Ewwww. The dress on the Revlon doll was molding and her feet and legs were looking a bit speckled with that same white mold. The sturdy little saucy walker doll, Mary Lou, looked fine.
Then —the horror! I stood the Revlon doll upright and her eyes popped open. Eee-eee-eee! (cue Psycho music)
I could see that the zombies had gotten to her! Where had I stashed the holy water? Or, failing that, the lysol mold and mildew remover? Hang in there, girl—I'm not givin' up on you!
A bit later, following some Latin incantations and a good scrubbing the girls seemed more themselves and were enjoying a little nude sunbathing to kill any persistent spores.
I'm telling you, it was a strange day around here today.
Im laughing so hard that I won't be able to get to sleep, now.
ReplyDeleteOh, that's just too funny! I could hear the screet! screet! violin music when I got to the poor zombie doll.
ReplyDeleteA successful exorcism and surviving victims! That's what I call an achievement.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! The eyeball thing almost got a coffee-through-the-nose salute.
ReplyDeleteDon't make apologies for belonging to the Troop. I have the GS to thank for confirming my heretic sensibilities. My family could not afford the uniform when I went from brown to green, I wore my sash with whatever until the disapproving looks from Leader Lady scorched my "belonging" gene.
Bless her, in disguise.
It's been raining here for 3 weeks and I think I'm growing mold myself. Please send me your recipe for yuck removal and thanks for the laugh. I really needed that.
ReplyDeleteAre you going to make new clothes?
Know what you meant about the 40(Holy Sh*t)years.
So funny. I wish I could come to the yard sale. You should see my old chest. I should blog about it.
ReplyDelete40+ years? That has to be impossible?
ReplyDeleteongratulations - you win the Laugh Out Loud Creator award of the day! That first doll looks like she has had chicken pox and been covered in calomine lotion.
ReplyDeleteTHAT was scary! And I just finished a really good zombie book (not an oxymoron!) called World War Z. Interesting correlations to current events, very thought provoking, yet terrifying. There was something heavy walking around on our roof the other night and normally I would have gone out to check, but nooooo. I imagined that I would have encountered something like your scary doll!
ReplyDeleteOkay, it was probably a raccoon pacing around up there, but still. Now I'll work hard to replace the visuals with naked baby dolls. Much better.
That was so scary and funny. Thanks - it made my eyes squint, more creases, but happily not zombie looking as yet. Quick, I need eye cream, then, perhaps, clothes off and a blast of the sun. In the UK right now - not possible. A few days on a Greek Island might do the trick. I shall think of your 'friends' whilst I am bearing myself to the sun.
ReplyDeleteI see a stop-action horror animation movie with those naked zombie dolls of yours.
ReplyDeleteInteresting; my confirmation word for posting this is "mycho." As in "my psycho" friend.
I wish we lived close, I would love to give that trunk a new home that wouldn't need incantations! Too Funny!
ReplyDeleteRevenge of the Dolls. YOu'd look like that, too, if you'd been in a trunk for 40 years. LOL - thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteOh! I immediately recognized the Revlon doll, as I have one too! My Mamaw made several dresses for her, and she is currently living in a niche in my bedroom. I'll have to check her eyes for zombie influence, and if she looks as scary as yours, she's going OUT the door! LOL! Thanks for a great post.
ReplyDelete